A Monk’s Journey

courtesan and monk,
we sleep under one roof together,
moon in a field of clover
~ Bashō

Outside, apple blossoms glow in the dusk. She lies on her side, head propped up on a pillow, her eyes telling me that something important is coming, my eyes taking in the candlelight on her breasts.

“I need to know more about you,” she says.

“Do you mean about being a monk?”

“Yes, because right now you don’t seem very much like a monk.” She glances at my hand wandering slowly along the curve of her hip.

“You’re thinking about Christian monks, the ones who lived in dank cells, ate lentils and hard bread; the ones who whipped themselves. Think instead about Bashō, the Japanese monk who traveled extensively, shared his poetry with peasants and samurai nobles, loved flowers, enjoyed the company of women. Think more of a European troubadour with haiku as his song – but in this case, an older guy, with gray hair.”

I’m a wanderer
so let that be my name –
the first winter rain
~ Bashō

“Does this mean that I’m just someone who happens to sleep with you?”

“No, but I’ve been a partner all of my life and for now I need not to be.”

“So what am I?” she asks. “I don’t know how to tell my friends whatever it is we’re doing. It feels like more than dating or having sex and it’s not friendship because I don’t sleep with my friends.”

how reluctantly
the bee emerges
from deep within the peony
~ Bashō

“Can’t we simply enjoy what we have,” I reply.

“I’m reluctant to give up the feel of your skin against mine, but I’ll have to think about this.” She pecks a kiss, dresses and leaves.

A week later her note arrives: “I have such good memories of our moments together. It’s a gift to desire and be desired, but we need such different things.”

winter seclusion –
sitting propped against
the same worn post
~ Bashō

monkshood bloom
the whine of mosquitoes
seems dimnished
~ Ray Rasmussen

red bar

haibun: First published in Simply Haiku, 6:4, Winter 2008.
Ray Rasmussen’s haiku was published in Modern haiku.
Basho’s haiku are translations found at the website titled “Bashō” which cited R.H. Blyth, W.J. Higginson, J. Reichhold and Sam Hamill as among the various translators.

Can Non-Poetic People learn to Write Haibun?

The morning sun is just touching my canoe, suggesting a promising midsummer day canoeing in Algonquin Provincial Park. But until it warms up, I put it out of mind, pour coffee and read the morning email. One is from a writer interested in haibun, one of those little bright spots that comes with being a journal editor. Having read it, I ask my partner, Nancy, to join me for coffee. “I want to read this to you,” I said.


Hello Ray,

After a walk with Rufus, my border collie, I returned home to find an envelope you had sent containing Harriot West’s collection of haibun, “Into the Light.” I remember you and I discussing haibun, but until I read her book, I didn’t have an appreciation for the sort of personal memoirs one finds in that genre. I took it to our dining table and read a few pieces to my wife, Joan, and we had quite a discussion.

It clearly requires a person of both courage and great honesty to author such a book. I am sure that reading her work will invite others to be more reflective of their life experiences, as it did me. Having read her offerings, I felt as if I was a bit dead to the world and asked myself, “Have I lived life asleep at the switch?”

In my undergraduate years, a philosophy course I took was taught by a man I much admired, Professor Samuels, a bright and warm person, an ex-Marine who wore wide brimmed hats and a funky vest, his black Labrador always at his side. As it happened, I and another chap received the top marks on an assigned paper. Going over mine, Samuelson mentioned that the other student and I had different strengths, mine was logical analysis whilst his was more a poetic or literary bent.

I’ve always thought of myself as linear, logical thinker, rather than an insightful type. I wish I had better capacity to see and express what I see in the world—in writing, photography and art.


When I finish reading it, she looks up and says: “He writes beautifully, Does he know that?”

“He seems not to and I’m going to try to set things straight.”

We further discussed James’ writing, noting how he moved from Rufus’ walk to West’s courage to his philosophy class and Professor Samuels’s black Lab to Samuel’s pronouncement James is a literal, and not a poetic thinker. The sequence illustrated the way memory works, one concrete thing leading to another, sentences carrying the weight of twenty years since that comment and the ache of roads not taken.


Hi James,

Your email reached me this morning at our rental cottage on Harp Lake. Nancy and I read it over coffee, and she looked up and said, “He writes beautifully. Does he know that?”

I agreed with her and I’m going to try to convince you to drop that idea that you lack a poetic mindset.

Your line about feeling “dead to the world” after reading West’s poems … I’ve been there. Last month I picked up E.B. White’s One Man’s Meat and felt the same kind of sting, watching his sentences flow like water while mine stumble along like old dogs.

It struck me that the details of your philosophy course with Professor Samuels remained in your memory after all these years. That’s not logical analysis—that’s a writer’s eye for the detail that makes a good story.

Your letter itself moves the way memory and haibun memoirs work—Rufus’s walk leads to West’s book and then leads to that undergraduate moment when someone decided to divide his students into categories: linear and poetic. What you’ve actually done in a few succinct sentences is poetic: you caught the texture of an afternoon, the weight of a professor’s casual pronouncement, the particular ache of wondering if you’ve been asleep at the switch.

You already know how to see and this was a good start at expressing what you observed about the class and the impact on you to this day. The question isn’t whether you can write—it’s whether you’ll trust what you’ve already written, and do what we writers all must do, polish it up some more, and if you want to publish it as a haibun, you’ll need to add a title and a haiku. These aren’t easy tasks, not for experienced writers, and especially not for writers new to the haibun memoir genre. This is a great start, don’t give up on yourself now. Gitting a start is a big first step and too often is the place where new writers get stuck.

I’m enclosing an offer. Send me a redraft and let’s go back and forth on it. And, start a personal journal. Try capturing one moment each day or the most memorable moment of the last week—just note what happened, what you noticed, what memories were associated, how you felt. Also consider more reading of other’s haibun. After West’s minimalist haibun, try David Lanoue’s more expansive pieces in “My Journal with Haiku Sprinkled in.” Look closely at how he writes about each of his days while traveling through Japan and Bulgaria. In return, if you wish, I’ll send you a draft of one of my working ideas, and you can provide me with comments. You’ll also develop your writing skills by critiquing the work of other writers. Every writer should have at least one working partner and one person who is a good reader offering their views on what works for them, and what doesn’t.

Best, Ray


About the Author

Ray Rasmussen

Ray Rasmussen resides in Edmonton, Canada. His haibun, haiga, haiku, articles and reviews have appeared in the major print and online haiku genre journals. Ray presently serves on the editorial staff of contemporary haibun online. In the past, he has served as part of the editorial/technical teams for Drifting Sands Haibun, Notes from the Gean, Simply Haiku, A Hundred Gourds, the World Haiku Review and Haibun Today. Ray’s Blog is “All Things Haibun” and his haiku-genres website is “Haiku, Haibun & Haiga.”

What Are We Writers Up To, Really?

Ray Rasmussen

This essay was previously published in Drifting Sands Haibun.

I’ve recently been reading essay collections as a means of getting away from the easy-to-fall-into routine of mainly reading haibun and, as important, a way of escaping the very dismal world news. Personal essays tend to offer good, imaginative writing with a poetic flavor.

The type I seek are quasi-autobiographical, but neither overly prosaic nor didactic. Like haibun they tend to focus on the personal experiences of the writer but are typically much more expansive than haibun. Thus they’re akin to non-fiction and short memoirs, providing a larger bit of a lived life than haiku (which represents but an Ah Ha! moment in the poet’s life) and haibun and tanka prose (which represent an outstanding experience, a more expansive snippet of life).

Michael Chabon’s Manhood for Amateurs, is one such collection I’d recommend to anyone who likes well-written memoirs and personal essays. In a passage from “The Loser’s Club,” Chabon offers his own experiences and thoughts about the motivations of artists of any stripe:

“Every work of art, every project seemingly created for self-realization, every impulse to create work that can potentially be seen or read or listened to by others is one half of a secret handshake, a heliograph flashed from a tower window, an act of hopeless optimism in the service of bottomless longing. Every great record or novel or comic book or poetry collection convenes the first meeting of a fan club whose membership stands forever as one, but which maintains chapters in every city—in every cranium—in the world.”

What Motivates Haibun and Tanka Prose Poets? Or at least me?

Chabon’s passage led me to musing about what motivates us haibunists to send our writing to journals and writing forums, to post it on personal websites and blogs, to offer it to publishers and, of course, send it to friends and family. Are we, as Chabon asserts, driven by a “bottomless longing” for a “fan club.”

I personally don’t like the idea of having fans which implies a kind of cultish devotion to a celebrity. However, Chabon, who makes his living from his writing, does want and need fans. They tend to buy his books, and thus help feed, shelter and clothe his family. I don’t earn a living from my writing, and if I tried, I’d be starved out in a matter of months. So far, I’ve earned about $300 Cdn in Royalties from my Amazon Posted collection: Landmarks. Nor do I know of any haiku genre poets who make a significant amount of money from the sale of their collections.

I also don’t desire a “bottomless” readership. But I would feel good if a good number of people to read my work, far more than the 300 or so that have been purchased, many by family and friends. I’d also be please if more people would use the “comments” pages in our journals to let me know that they’ve appreciated something I’ve written, but while a simple, “like” would be okay, more detail would be even nicer. I’ve deleted the names, but posted the comments of many readers who commented on this essay when it appeared in Drifting Sands Haibun 6 years ago. Bless you all!

I’d also like to see haibun in general, not just mine, appearing in mainstream poetry journals and literary magazines. Even Reader’s Digest, read by a wide variety of people, would make me happy because RD is not just writers writing for other writers. I’d also like to see the number of writers grow dramatically in the next decade and the readership of our collective writing grow.

But let’s be realistic. Not much of what I want, and particularly what Chabon thinks I want, is going to happen. I’ve not yet been discovered by a publisher, either of literary or Reader’s Digest stripe. Nor have I even been found by the mainstream poetry folks. Nor does our genre have a superstar like free verse’s Billy Collins with a style that allows him to both make a living (I’m guessing) and enjoyed by a wide variety of readers. But there are very few poets in any genre who have that sort of readership.

So, if I long for anything, it’s simply what I have, a community of like-minded writers, a reasonable number of readers, a number of good venues to which I can submit my work, and a flock of volunteer editors who read and assess my work. Even if they reject a piece, I only grumble for a year or so.

I’d also like to have a number of people sending and exchanging comments on both my work and the work of others. I comment from time to time by writing commentaries and reviews. It’s useful that some online journals, drifting sands haibun and Contemporary Haibun Online (to name two), have comments sections allowing detailed comments to be made, much more than a simple “I liked it.” Alas, I didn’t notice many meaty or even many simple I-like-it comments in either the last issue of CHO or DSH addressed to the writers.

So here are two questions that come to mind from what I’ve written above. Why do we care about readership? And since we care (at least I think we do) why aren’t more people reading and commenting on haibun?

Why Do We Care?

My answer is that serious haibun composition, and writing of any type, requires a good deal more time and energy than a tweet or short facebook post with the message: “Here’s where I am, what I’m doing, and a pic showing who I’m with.”.

Serious writing for submission and publication requires even more work, particularly redrafting until there’s a high level of quality in content and style leading to a personal story worth readers’ time and attention. It’s also much more demanding than simply posting early drafts on an online writers’ forum, for example, where mostly people send either “attaboys” or polite silence in return. Beyond writing the piece, the act of preparing and sending a submission to journal editors takes an enormous amount of work. Even more work is involved in preparing a manuscript for a publisher or for self-publishing. And then there’s the ego cost. Getting those “No Thanks” from editors and publishers is costly to the writer’s spirit – I don’t care who you are or how thick your skin is – it just plain hurts. And never getting comments on the work also produces a kind of hurt, a feeling of emptiness that our note in a bottle hasn’t been picked up and read by a beachcomber, and may never be.

Why Aren’t More People Reading Haibun (and Commenting?)

My answer is that haibun is a very small drop in the pond of haiku poetry, and but a water molecule in the ocean of mainstream poetry and various related short genres like short stories, memoirs and personal essays. Our publication venues don’t number much more than 20 and the multi-genre venues like Modern Haiku and Frogpond only publish a few haibun per issue along with hundreds of haiku. The number of writers in our haibun community is probably less than 500. That’s just an impression I formed while editing over the last 20 years at Haibun Today, Contemporary Haibun Online, A Hundred Gourds, Simply Haiku, The World Haiku Review and Notes from the Gean. The same names tended to reappear at least once a year and many repeated in almost every issue. When a name disappears, I feel the loss.

Our mass mailout announcing issue releases of Haibun Today was sent to about 400 folks associated with haibun and/or haiku. The software stats told us that only about 250 opened the issue as a result of the mailing. Of those, we don’t know how much of the issue was actually read. (Don’t worry, we’re not the secret email police or at least not very adept at it). I think that many of us click on our own pieces to see how our work looks on the journal’s pages, and then look at a few others. I admit that I look at my own and then shop for my favorite writers and then shop a few titles that interest me. And then I burn out.

Writing as a Solitary Journey

Chabon also wrote:

“Art, like fandom, asserts the possibility of fellowship in a world built entirely from the materials of solitude. The novelist, the cartoonist, the songwriter, the poet, knows that the gesture is doomed from the beginning but makes it anyway, flashes his or her bit of mirror, not on the chance that the signal will be seen or understood but as if such a chance existed.”

Advice for New Writers to Haibun

I think that lack of response and particularly those early rejections are very discouraging to new writers in any genre.

I’d suggest that you keep writing through the rejection period and learn what you can. Eventually something will come of it. Do seek places where you get coaching and honest feedback and your skills will improve and writing memoir type pieces means you’ll come know yourself better.

Having said that, I know that you will or you won’t keep at it according to the thickness of your own skin and your need for responses and contact. In that sense, Chabon is right, particularly early on, writing is a solo journey and with respect to sailing into the world of writing, many people probably jump the boat and swim home.

If you keep at it and get that first acceptance, I can predict your spirit will rise and motivation increase. And after a few more “Yes Responses” you might even be hooked. Or you might not. It is, after all, a lot of work.

One thing that will happen, or at least happened to me, both as a photographer and writer is that I now appreciate at a higher level both photography and fine art and writing in many genres. Consider your writing journey not so much as a gathering-of-fans endeavor, but more as a poetry appreciation course.

Of course, there’s always the noble idea of “writing for oneself.” I think it’s true that writing can be a path to the fulfilling that famous “Know Thyself” adage which is thought to be a path to leading a more worthy life. Particularly, largely autobiographical writing – a series about the highs and lows of the one life we have to live. As such, writing is cheaper than a weekly meeting with a shrink and it might be more effective.

And when you finally do take the step to feel good enough about your writing to produce a collection and offer it to the world, I think you’ll feel, as I do, that you’ve accomplished something important. At the very least, you’ll have left a legacy for children and grandchildren and have a gift to give to your friends. Many of my friends have told me that my Landmarks collection sits in a prominent place in their bathroom. Don’t get me wrong … haibun make for good short reads while busy with the daily unmentionables. And, to be honest, it makes my day thinking that I’ve helped someone find enjoyment in those visits.

Notes:

Quotes from “The Losers’ Club” in Michael Chabon, Manhood for Amateurs: The Pleasures and Regrets of a Husband, Father and Son, HarperCollins, September 30th 2009. I’ve paraphrased Chabon’s passages a bit, but they’re quite close to the original.

Another collection of personal essays I’ve found worthwhile is E.B. White’s One Man’s Meat, Tilbury House Publishers, 1942.

Yes, for whatever our reasons, we’ve chosen to live in relative solitude as writers when we joined what might be called “The Tiny Companionship of Haibun Poets.” And we’re not unique. This is also true of the Bigger Company of Haiku poets and the Very Big Association of Mainstream Poets.

For myself, I enjoy seeing the work of other writers and feel I’ve gotten to know them precisely because we are a small gathering. And that’s sufficient, isn’t it?

19 Comments on “What Are We Writers Up To, Really?” Again, Bless you all. Made my day!

  1. I love haibun. I have admit that I read far more than I comment on. I prefer to rate a haibun because so many times it’s the gordian knot holding it together that appeals rather than a single comment-able part. The kinds of responses I like most on mine are ones that say I can relate to that even when it’s mind blowing surreal.
  2. Yes, I am still trying to survive the many rejections phase. It has helped me to be more critical of my own work and to read others for clues to their successful publication. Thanks Ray!
  3. I, too, hesitate to comment on the works of others because I am a novice and don’t think I have anything to offer. Ray’s essay makes the point that “useful” is not the point, recognition ( in the interpersonal sense of the word) is the point, community is the point, vision is the point. Thank you.
  4. Ray, I read every haibun and tanka prose in each issue after the first one of mine published in HaibunToday, until I hit a personal stumbling block and left the scene. Same with CHO. Ahhh…now you burst my bubble. I thought writers were like me and so I thought at least everyone who published in that issue read mine! Oh, how egotistical of me. No big deal. I enjoyed the process and being published. Just stumbling back in. Don’t foresee myself writing much. Maybe after reading a bit.
  5. Thanks for that wonderful piece, Ray. It dwells on writerly experiences in such an honest spirit. I was also reminded of Bashos’s views on poetry from the opening paragraph of The Records of a Travel-worn Satchel:“In this mortal frame of mine which is made of a hundred bones and nine orifices there is something, and this something is called a wind-swept spirit for lack of a better name, for it is much like a thin drapery that is torn and swept away at the slightest stir of the wind. This something in me took to writing poetry years ago, merely to amuse itself at first, but finally making it its lifelong business. It must be admitted, however, that there were times when it sank into such dejection that it was almost ready to drop its pursuit, or again times when i was so puffed up with pride that it exulted in vain victories over the others. Indeed, ever since it began to write poetry, it has never found peace with itself, always wavering between doubts of one kind and another. At one time it wanted to gain security by entering the service of a court, and at another it wished to measure the depth of its ignorance by trying to be a scholar, but it was prevented from either because of its unquenchable love of poetry. The fact is, it knows no other art than the art of writing poetry, and therefore, it hangs on to it more or less blindly.”
  6. On the rare days when I scroll through my haiku, haibun or other poems (including the mediocre ones that have not been sent for publication, or have been rejected), I clearly see a record of my life’s journey, and relive the many moments that I have forgotten, in a slightly different light. So, in that sense, it’s also an important journalling that helps one grow, I feel.(And the shameless plug: My poetry collection, In The Sanctuary of a Poem, sold about 600 copies and then was largely forgotten. There are two shops here in Goa (a clothing store, and a seed store) that sell about 20 copies in six months, and then I replenish the stock).
  7. Initially I was shocked that ‘Landmarks’ sold only a few 100 copies, and I’m glad I wrote to Ray probably a year ago now, telling him that ‘Landmarks’ had become one of my favourite books in any genre and was the book that really got me going on the haibun path. But of course a sale of 100 books is actually pretty good going in the world of haiku and haibun (even if friends etc make up a good percentage of sales). Initial print runs don’t number much above this and a long time ago, in my mainstream writing days, I remember once reading that only Hughes, Betjeman and Gunn sold more than 200 copies of their ‘slim volumes’. I have re-read ‘Landmarks’ on a number of occasions now and it has become nicely dog-eared in next to no time. Perhaps we should think about the success of a book in terms of how it is treasured and re-read by those who bought it, rather than sales figures – not that it would be possible to measure this with any degree of accuracy!
  8. As one new to haibun, I’ve had the sense that I didn’t have anything “useful” to offer in a conversation. Your thoughts here make it clear that “useful” is not necessarily the point; just a note about what I liked in a haibun is welcome. I do like using haibun to comment about intriguing little aspects of the world, not just the more personal memoir topics.Thanks for this essay, and for the many ways in which you’ve made it possible for the “tiny” haibun corps to thrive and expand.
    1. What an enlightening and beautiful essay dear Ray. Your thoughts made me contemplate as to why we write haibun and why we don’t comment on the haibun of our poet friends. It’s true that we write to express ourselves, to relive some moments of our own life, our childhood memories and stray encounters. We do read the published haibun, (albeit selectively) and enjoy them too. Yet as you say writing is a solitary journey and your thoughts are inspiring for writers. Here I would also like to add a word about editors who take time to guide and refine the submitted poem rather than an outright rejection. Their kindness and guidance motivates writers to write and submit more. Ultimately the art needs more reading, more practice, more honesty and humility. Grateful Ray for the guidance and ideas given.
  9. Such sound advice. I love what you’ve written and being new to haibun I will keep your thoughts in mind. I usually write because I need to. Someday I might submit and keep my expectations low. Even thick skin hurts. (Lol)
  10. Ray, thank you for this inspiring essay. I am immeasurably grateful to have found the ‘Haibun Way’– loving the wind, ‘sailing into the world of writing’, and doubt I will ‘jump the boat’ anytime soon. Very much a novice, with three haibun accepted by online journals so far, though I dare say–I’m hooked! There is a longing, yes, but not for fans, only to share with like minded beings.
  11. Thanks for writing this essay, Ray. It resonates with me and many others who felt early on being drawn toward what Tom Clausen calls “A Haiku Way of Life.” (For those who have not yet read or do not recall Tom Clausen’s 10-page essay from 1998, download a PDF of it from The Haiku Foundation’s digital library.) Some of us have also explored a side road called “Haibun Way,” and others have traveled down “Tanka Road” and meandered along “Haiga Path.” They are what William Least Heat Moon calls “Blue Highways,” roads not far from the interstates but overlooked, unused, almost hidden.Reading the following paragraph from your essay got me thinking about an “official” name for this widespread guild of isolated writers we have unofficially formed or joined, but no name could possibly encompass its many “Third Order” vocations:“Yes, for whatever our reasons, we’ve chosen to live in relative solitude as writers when we joined what might be called ‘The Tiny Companionship of Haibun Poets.’ And we’re not unique. This is also true of the Bigger Company of Haiku poets and the Very Big Association of Mainstream Poets.”However, your “Tiny Companionship” name works just fine, with a nod to Dylan Tweney’s tinywords. And, yes, I bought, read, and enjoy your “Landmarks: A Haibun Collection” for my Kindle and recommend it to everyone who writes and cares for haibun. I look forward to reading your next collection of “inuksuit,” but this time with photographs!
  12. Just the joy of creating that children enjoy when mark making , the joy of creating something as part of a creative universe. These are enough for me.
  13. Chabon’s statement that “Every work of art, every project seemingly created for self-realization, every impulse to create work that can potentially be seen or read or listened to by others is . . . an act of hopeless optimism in the service of bottomless longing” brought a sense of relief. I am not alone with bottomless longing! My core longing is to write as a way of making sense of the world of humans and to be connected with nature. I began recording my observations and reflections decades before discovering haiku and haibun – partly because it was enjoyable and partly so I wouldn’t forget unique experiences. What motivates me to write haibun? My old jottings could be left in their original form for my own enjoyment and yet I find myself mining them for material for haibun. I enjoy the challenge of linking title, prose and haiku into haibun. But, I often wonder why I take the time to transform some of them into haibun worth submitting for publication.I was so caught up in pondering the longing to write that I was surprised to realize longing for readership was the primary focus of the essay. I do not long for a fan club, but I do long for people to read what I write and, yes, some of that longing is for my writing to be appreciated. Part of what drives me to publish haibun is that it is a way of saying “hey, look at this amazing thing I saw” to a community that is observing life as carefully as I am. I suppose that is a way of breaking the solitariness of writing.I can only offer these vague ideas about why I write haibun and strive to have it published. All I know for sure is that a deep longing calls me to do it and so I do.
  14. Ray, As a “fan” of your “largely autobiographical work,” I particularly appreciated your inclusion of this notion in your essay:
    “I think it’s true that writing can be a path to the fulfilling that famous “Know Thyself” adage which is thought to be a path to leading a more worthy life. Particularly, largely autobiographical writing – a series about the highs and lows of the one life we have to live.”
    In pursuing a short form career (if we can call a largely unpaid endeavor a career), the work one willingly undertakes can allow not only the honing of one’s writing, but the refinement of oneself. The reflection and introspection autobiographical writing requires has the potential to deepen self-awareness and broaden consciousness. As a person with an active interest in Jungian ideas, I would submit that autobiographical writing is a form of alchemy, and as such, is one path to individuation. This could explain why authentic, autobiographical work so often resonates with a uniquely palpable energy. Because it has been lived, it is alive.
    Thank you for delivering a thought-provoking essay in your characteristic grounded, relatable way.
  15. I find a piece of writing is a way to explore and unravel the self. I don’t write for an audience, I write to make meaning, to decode the conflict within me, lay it out in neat categories where I can look at them and then go back to them again and again, shuffling these categories, mixing them up, arranging them under different rubrics to make sense of patterns.The act of reading is quite like finding a friend among strangers. I tend to read randomly picking up pieces here and there. It’s also about access. There are certain people whose work I will actively pursue, then there are others where I have literally stumbled upon a piece and enjoyed it. Although I read and try to write regularly, there are periods where I need space. It is like taking time out because one is exhausted by the form or style or voice. I haven’t actively read a novel in a long time. More and more, I find, I’m edging towards work that is shorter, crisper and flows honestly without pretense. I like Haibun for that reason because many writers tend to write from that sort of space. The link and shift within a piece of writing then becomes interesting because someone, has arranged a new pattern while still exploring the duality(juxtaposition) that exists in this world. I find the simple often the most beautiful, the honest often the most resonant.
  16. I share your sentiments, and was heartened by your comment, “This could explain why authentic, autobiographical work so often resonates with a uniquely palpable energy. Because it has been lived, it is alive.” Thanks for the breath of optimism.
    For the artist, poetry might be the most rewarding of the arts (who knows, but I cherish the “alchemy”, as you say). This is what motivates to make the effort. But it sure is nice when someone appreciates the finished product.
  17. Enjoyed reading this. It’s always a pleasure to see how I measure up to what or how other writers do things or if I’m completely off base!
  18. I found your comments so relatable. As a relative newcomer to haibun and tanka prose, I have benefited immeasurably from writers and editors like you. Thanks for sharing some of your journey with us.
  19. i loved reading this essay. The writing life is a lonely one. I always appreciate your careful reading and keen insights.

Conversations with Issa: A Haibun


I’ve resided in a remote Ontario cottage for several weeks. Yesterday, a blizzard was blowing and so I stayed in and enjoyed conversing with Issa via the medium of his translators’ books. As I read and write notes, I notice a particularly ominous spider web and remember that Issa offers this haiku for consideration . . .

Don’t worry spiders
I keep house
casually
~ Issa

And instead of engaging in my usual spider mayhem by employing the broom as a weapon of web destruction, I keep my eye on the spider and move my desk a comfortable distance away while I continue to read Issa’s travel journal, Oraga Haru (The Spring of My Life).

Today the sun is out and I don snowshoes and come across numerous tracks: wild turkey, fox, deer, and porcupine . . . and, again, recalling Issa’s haiku, mentally compose derivatives. This is one I felt came close, since it closely replicates Issa’s, yet has my own context.

Don’t worry turkeys
I hunt
ineptly
~ after Issa

As Issa and I move through a mixed hardwood forest we come across a wildflower meadow, which brings to mind a walk last summer with Nancy, my partner, whom I’m missing.

Issa offers these thoughts on flower gazing . . .

We walk on the roof of hell,
gazing at flowers

~ Issa

No wildflowers here in winter, Master Issa, but I’m taking photographs of the long blue-grey tree & shrub shadows cast by the setting sun. And yes, I agree, photographing scenes is akin to enjoying flowers while ignoring humankind’s woes. And, having confessed, I went about building my own version of Issa’s haiku.

We live in a world of chaos,
while building snowmen
~ after Issa

On my last evening with Issa, I look out at the leafless trees, and think about how for a month I’ve shed routines, obligations, news reports and friends – no phone or email here – and felt the dual pains of loneliness and regrets.

And Issa, I know from the biographies of your life, you had many painful experineces to overcome, and I read that you offered your thoughts on transcendence:

What good luck!
Bitten by
This year’s mosquitoes too.
~ Issa

True enough, Issa, may I call you ‘friend’. Although bitter cold, this has been a good winter retreat for beauty, your companionship and contemplation of your sense of compassion and thoughts about transcendence.

What good luck!
Chilled by
This winter’s biting cold too.
~ after Issa


afterword:

I wrote this piece with the view in mind that it would do more for me to try to write haiku (and haibun for that matter) with Issa’s work as a model than to simply enjoy reading Issa’s work and leave it at that. While I like some of my derivative haiku above, I don’t like all of them. While I think Issa’s last haiku, for example, works, I don’t think my derivative is as accessible as is the irony in his. And, I’m pretty certain that if the editors of a haiku journal looked at my derivatives without having known about or ever seen any of Issa’s work, they’d not accept my three haiku derivatives as good enough to publish. But, after all, Issa wasn’t appreciated in his day by the other prominent haiku masters and pundits of his day.

What about haiku orthodoxy. If you scour the Internet for the ‘what is’ and ‘how to’ of haiku, a common pronouncement is that you mustn’t personify animals and inanimate objects. Did you notice that Issa is breaking that “rule”? He’s personifying spiders by speaking to them. His second haiku also breaks the “rules.” It’s more a philosophical musing than a focus on immediate images drawn from his environment. His third haiku is a clever bit of wit, what some would call a ‘ditty’ or ‘witticism.” And thus some editors will insist it’s a senryu, a haiku in form, but not a pure haiku … it’s more focused on humour and sentiment than the natural world.

Here’s a comparison of a haiku of mine that was published in Modern Haiku that used some of the same natural context, but that the editor accepted as focused on the natural world.

monkshood bloom –
the whine of mosquitoes
seems diminished

Both mention mosquitoes, but Issa’s strikes me as a bit removed from nature and, again, more of a philosophical musing.

Isn’t derivative writing also a bad thing?

If you’re interested in this idea that you can expand your own writing repertoire by modelling the work of other writers (and acknowledging that you’ve done so), you might be interested in my article on the subject that appeared originally in Contemporary Haibun Online: The Role of Modelling in Haibun Composition.

notes:

The haibun was previously published in the A Hundred Gourds journal.

The haiku in italics are by Kobayashi Issa (Trans. Robert Hass).

If you enjoy Issa’s haiku, a website I often visit is David G. Lanoue’s “Haiku of Kabayashi Isssa.”

Read an excerpt from Issa’s haibun journal and commentaries on his style.

The two tranlations of Oraga Haru I read and relied on are: Sam Hamil, Kobayashi issa: The Spring of my Life and Selected Haiku; Nobuyuki Yuasa, The Year of My Life: A Translation of Issa’s Oraga Haru.

What Are You Up To?

The sun’s rays filter through a stand of spruce where twenty horses are hitched. As we unpack them, Dave, a lanky outfitter, and I chat about the grizzly we spotted earlier in the day and how the horses are holding up.

men’s talk –
the smell of
sweat and manure

Dave asks, “Ray, what are you up to these days?”

I’m embarrassed to say that I receive a monthly check without having to work, that I no longer wake up by an alarm clock, that I feel guilty about those who have to rush breakfast and fight traffic, that I view my avocations as luxuries in a world stressed by war and poverty.

Finally, I say: “Well, I write a bit and do some photography.”

Dave replies, “Oh, do you sell your photographs?”

 “Some, but not enough to pay for the camera.”

So there it is. I can’t simply sit on the back stoop and admire the lawn growing, the shadows lengthening.

“Well,” Dave grunts as he hefts a 60-pound load off the horse, “must be nice to have time to pursue your interests.”

How many times have I heard that I now have time to be the writer I always wanted to be, to travel as much as I want?

In younger times I was a jock, a professional, a dad, a leader and a teacher. Now I’m a retiree, a senior, a grey beard, all of which carry undertones of geezer, hints of useless.

The horses don’t like being corralled, and I don’t either. When we release them, they race out into the meadow, roll in the black loam, shake and begin to graze.

I wish this rawness I feel could as easily be shaken off.

monkshood bloom –
the whine of mosquitoes
seems diminished

Note: Haiku first published in Modern Haiku. Haibun with haiku later published in Lynx Haiku Journal.

How to Read Haiku

With The Heron’s Nest Editor Fay Aoyagi and Haijin Chad Lee Robinson

Kitagawa Utamaro, circa 1790s

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

Early on in my haiku and haibun journey, editors rejected my haibun and several advised me to read haiku, saying that I’d not be able to write a good haibun until I had mastered the haiku part of haibun’s prose-haiku partnership. I had already looked at the many definitions of the two related genres (haiku and haibun), but found definitions lacking in specifics and mostly useless except as a rough guide, particularly the formulaic definitions like number of lines and syllable counts.

So I read a lot of haiku, both those of the Japanese masters and of the published works contemporary haijin and learned I simply didn’t get much out of them except that most didn’t follow the 5-7-5, 3-line, short-long-short structure learned in English classes.

And I mostly wondered why the editors picked the haiku featured in their journals. I concluded that haiku are not only difficult to write, but they are also difficult to read and understand, to “get the poetic spark,” so to speak. A problem was that I had a tendency to read them once quickly and to read too many at a time. In short, I was merely glancing at them, expecting a spark to jump out at me. I wasn’t engaging in what might be called “deep reading.”

I decided that in order to better understand haiku and thus, to be better able to write a worthy haiku and haibun, I had to first hone my haiku reading skills. In this way, I might be able to appreciate and understand why the editors selected some and not others, and particularly why they didn’t accept mine. And that’s what this three-part series is about – How to do a deep reading of haiku for better understanding of the nature of haiku.

Continue reading -> Part 1